I think the most important thing to do is to either let him know now or later. If he is not within his reasonable mind right now (hormones can drive anyone crazy) and only wants to be upset at you you could wait until he seems to have accepted it more. The one thing I've learned is that nothing just happens and I wanted to be respected as an adult. If he is mature enough as you've taught him to be he will most likely ask you to delve deeper into these reasons and you two can have a discussion about it. You should tell him gently there were some problems between his father and yourself that meant you couldn't be together anymore. While it may be hard for him to accept, these things do happen. You don't have to bad mouth his dad, but calmly explain that he has been seeing someone else and that you all are not able to work out your differences at this time.īeing 18 I have the privilege to still remember things from my childhood easily while still becoming the educated adult that I should be. See how he handles that- at 17 I would think he would say, just tell me now, and you have to know your kid to know if you think he could handle it. The other thing you could try first is to explain to your son that there are some good reasons this divorce is happening and that you don't want to put him in the middle of your and your husbands issues, but that one day when he is ready, and everyone has cooled off a bit, you will tell him more.Explain that there is a lot of hurt going on right now for all involved and that you don't want to say anything out of anger or hurt. I had the same situation and I did tell my kids - it was hard at first, but they worked it out and they currently have a good relationship with both of us. You have to know your kid, but I think at 17 he could probably handle knowing the truth and probably needs to know to help your relationship.
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